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Here’s how I’m doing…

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So, for the last few months, I’ve made few appearances in public and when I have, many have noticed that I’m a svelte size 10 these days, having lost about 45 pounds.  I’ve heard the rumors about my health and I just felt that the time was right to publicly disclose what’s going on.  Here’s the answer:

NOTHING!  Cancerwise, I’m doing GREAT–my cancer is not getting any better, but also not getting any worse!  Those chemotherapy drugs that you guys helped me get last December are working!  However, I am dealing with some other issues–mainly my digestive system.  I’m having trouble taking food in, and having trouble getting waste out (trying to be very politically correct here).  Also, pain is my constant companion, while anxiety is my best friend. LOL

Lets talk about each one:

*Anyone that’s eaten with me in the last few months knows that I simply have no appetite.  None.  I’m NEVER hungry and also never taking in more than a few bites at a time.  I’m ALL OVER the appetizer menu!  LOL  Now, to add insult to injury, for the last few weeks, everything that I eat tastes like someone has poured an entire box on salt on top of it.  So, there’s that.  I think it is a vitamin deficiency and can be corrected with shots and/or supplements.  I’m seeing my hematologist this week.  And, my doctor has prescribed something that should give me an appetite.  More on this soon.

*NO POOP!  I spent a lot of April in the hospital, because there’s hardly any poop.  And yes, I do realize that I hardly eat anything, so I probably shouldn’t expect a lot of poop, but I’m going double digit days between poops. As you can imagine, it doesn’t feel good!

*For the first time in my journey, I’m taking pain pills regularly–3 or 4 a day.  This concerns me a lot, so much that I took the advice of a very good friend and made an appointment with a Pain Management Specialist to look at alternative ways of managing my pain.  Perhaps pills aren’t the best way for me to control the pain–maybe a patch, maybe acupuncture–I dunno.  But, I’m willing to look into it.

*Out of all of this, sometimes anxiety is the worst.  You guys have been telling me for years that I was losing my mind, finally, I BELIEVE you!  I’m afraid to be home alone, I hear bumps in the night, I’m almost afraid to drive myself anyplace (for fear of an accident) and I’m in a state of constant worry.  For instance, I recently saw a male figure in the backyard of a neighbor.  Rather than call out to the man and out who he was, or telephone her to inquire, within 5 seconds I had completely broken down because “there had been a home invasion and she had been murdered.”  Turns out, the figure was another neighbor, getting something out of her garden and she knew all about it!  Crazy, huh?  Because of episodes like this, I’ve made my first psych appointment.  I need to get a grip and come to terms with everything.

While many of you knew about these things, most of you didn’t and have drawn your own conclusions.  This isn’t good.  Email or text me and ask–don’t tell others that I’m on my deathbed.  It’s simply not true and it’s unfair to put that unnecessary worry on someone else.  I’m ok.  Not only am I ok, I’m SKINNY!!!  So, there!

I have some trips coming up this summer, so I’m sure you’ll see more of me.  In fact, I guarantee it!

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8 Responses to “Here’s how I’m doing…”

  1. Bren says:

    You are loved, dearest Jewel! Slay on with your skinny self!

  2. Zerline says:

    Enjoy the svelte, skinny life. Thank you for inviting us on your journey. Blessings

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    Adriene Johnson says:

    You have no idea how much this means to me! I couldn’t be happier for you. There are some issues there but the important thing is, you claim them so I know you are working on them. Hey skinny girl, I am always 100% Jewel. I will drop everything for you when you are ready for me. Nothing is a truer statement from me. Thanks again for the update. I actually was thinking no news is good news. Keep up the good work on you!

  4. Lynn BUrke says:

    Hey Jewelsy – I am so happy you are putting the rumor mongers straight and letting everyone know that you are HERE, ALIVE and GOING STRONG!!! I always enjoy our conversations and I love you more than words can tell you. I am happy you are looking at alternative ways to manage your pain and it is a GOOD thing to always talk to someone (especially a psychiatrist) to help your mental health too! Your admission of this may help many who are still stigimitized about taking care of their mental health. Much love and continued prayers for your ENTIRE health!

  5. Alicia says:

    Loving on you from North Carolina. Thank you for checking in and updating us!

  6. Sili says:

    Oh sweetie! I’m sorry you are experiencing all this turmoil! The eating is terrible and hopefully the meds to increase your appetite will work. With the poop, that might also be a side effect of the pain pills. I am a fan of the patches as they tend to keep the meds slow and steady and might make other things more tolerable.

    I’m glad to see this update and happy that things are holding steady. I figured you were just home gaining strength. I’ll keep you in my prayers for the rest. Also, glad you’re going to see someone for the anxiety. Again, this might all be due to all of the meds that you are on. They have weird effects sometime.

    So happy that you are able to advocate for yourself in this way, Jewel. Praying for better days around the corner.

    oxoxox

  7. Thanks for checking in with us. If I were going through what you are and have been, I’d be so anxious I’d be hiding UNDER my bed. Anxiety is a normal human reaction to extraordinary circumstances. You have been dealing with extraordinaryly stressful circumstances even if it has been so long, they feel like they should be “ordinary”. I’m glad you’re seeing someone about anxiety. As I’m sure you know, there are techniques other than meds (or as an adjunct to meds) that can help one deal with stress. One I’ve discovered in the last few years (actually, also after a health scare) is zentangle. Check it out. I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have. BTW, you are more than fabulous.
    http://www.boomeresque.com/what-is-zentangle-and-is-it-habit-forming/

  8. Tamiko McCurry says:

    (((hugs)))

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