So, for the last few months, I’ve made few appearances in public and when I have, many have noticed that I’m a svelte size 10 these days, having lost about 45 pounds. I’ve heard the rumors about my health and I just felt that the time was right to publicly disclose what’s going on. Here’s the answer:
NOTHING! Cancerwise, I’m doing GREAT–my cancer is not getting any better, but also not getting any worse! Those chemotherapy drugs that you guys helped me get last December are working! However, I am dealing with some other issues–mainly my digestive system. I’m having trouble taking food in, and having trouble getting waste out (trying to be very politically correct here). Also, pain is my constant companion, while anxiety is my best friend. LOL
Lets talk about each one:
*Anyone that’s eaten with me in the last few months knows that I simply have no appetite. None. I’m NEVER hungry and also never taking in more than a few bites at a time. I’m ALL OVER the appetizer menu! LOL Now, to add insult to injury, for the last few weeks, everything that I eat tastes like someone has poured an entire box on salt on top of it. So, there’s that. I think it is a vitamin deficiency and can be corrected with shots and/or supplements. I’m seeing my hematologist this week. And, my doctor has prescribed something that should give me an appetite. More on this soon.
*NO POOP! I spent a lot of April in the hospital, because there’s hardly any poop. And yes, I do realize that I hardly eat anything, so I probably shouldn’t expect a lot of poop, but I’m going double digit days between poops. As you can imagine, it doesn’t feel good!
*For the first time in my journey, I’m taking pain pills regularly–3 or 4 a day. This concerns me a lot, so much that I took the advice of a very good friend and made an appointment with a Pain Management Specialist to look at alternative ways of managing my pain. Perhaps pills aren’t the best way for me to control the pain–maybe a patch, maybe acupuncture–I dunno. But, I’m willing to look into it.
*Out of all of this, sometimes anxiety is the worst. You guys have been telling me for years that I was losing my mind, finally, I BELIEVE you! I’m afraid to be home alone, I hear bumps in the night, I’m almost afraid to drive myself anyplace (for fear of an accident) and I’m in a state of constant worry. For instance, I recently saw a male figure in the backyard of a neighbor. Rather than call out to the man and out who he was, or telephone her to inquire, within 5 seconds I had completely broken down because “there had been a home invasion and she had been murdered.” Turns out, the figure was another neighbor, getting something out of her garden and she knew all about it! Crazy, huh? Because of episodes like this, I’ve made my first psych appointment. I need to get a grip and come to terms with everything.
While many of you knew about these things, most of you didn’t and have drawn your own conclusions. This isn’t good. Email or text me and ask–don’t tell others that I’m on my deathbed. It’s simply not true and it’s unfair to put that unnecessary worry on someone else. I’m ok. Not only am I ok, I’m SKINNY!!! So, there!
I have some trips coming up this summer, so I’m sure you’ll see more of me. In fact, I guarantee it!