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I Am Not My Hair!

My Black is Beautiful

So, about 3 years ago, I made a impulse decision, less than an hour before I was to leave for the airport to go on a press trip.  I saw some scissors laying on my desk and just cut all of my hair.  I didn’t just cut it short, I cut it down to where I couldn’t grip it with my fingers.  I ended up stopping at a barber on my way to the airport.  After that, I never really looked back.  I prefer my hair to be cropped WAY close, but when I can’t find time to get to a barber, I end up with a couple inches.  Here’s what I looked like–

So, when I was diagnosed with cancer and knew that I would lose my hair with chemotherapy, I didn’t care at all.  After all, I didn’t have enough to even miss–that’s what I thought.  Boy, was I wrong.  I  was so upset when my hair left.  Not because I was bald, but because of other things.  For instance, up to that point, if I didn’t choose to tell you that I had cancer, you wouldn’t know.  Now, all of a sudden, everyone knew without me saying a word.  I noticed all of the stares of pity and how everyone ran over to help me get a single can off a shelf in the grocery store or wanted to carry my bag to the car.  And another thing–I knew that I would lose my hair, but never thought about losing my lashes and eyebrows.  Losing those make you look old and sickly.  Nevermind that I was old and sickly–I didn’t want to LOOK like it.  I’ll never forget the day that I completely broke down on the phone with my dad, trying to explain why I was embarassed to go someplace because I didn’t have lashes and brows.  Bottom line:  I didn’t feel beautiful.

Never again.  Now, I define my OWN beauty standards.  With much self examination,  reflection, and support from friends and family, I finally pushed through and got past it.  So much so that when I walked the runway in a fashion show with other cancer survivors in March, I purposely asked my makeup artist to leave me browless, though he did give me lashes.  Here’s how I looked that day.

So, I’ve realized that while I’m not my hair, my hair truly is me.  Granted, it’s not a big part of me, but I’ve learned to embrace ALL of me.  I love me some me!

Disclosure:  I am a Niche Parent Network & Conference influencer and received compensation for this post. All opinions are my own.


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2 Responses to “I Am Not My Hair!”

  1. A. L. Taylor says:

    Clarity regarding who and what our true selves are affords us the confidence, the courage and freedom to be all that we are intended to be. Rock that Jewel!!!

  2. Adriene says:

    What more can I say. You are truly blessed with self knowledge that I can do nothing but admire you more and more as tome passes. You are phenomenal woman!

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