So, about 3 years ago, I made a impulse decision, less than an hour before I was to leave for the airport to go on a press trip. I saw some scissors laying on my desk and just cut all of my hair. I didn’t just cut it short, I cut it down to where I couldn’t grip it with my fingers. I ended up stopping at a barber on my way to the airport. After that, I never really looked back. I prefer my hair to be cropped WAY close, but when I can’t find time to get to a barber, I end up with a couple inches. Here’s what I looked like–
So, when I was diagnosed with cancer and knew that I would lose my hair with chemotherapy, I didn’t care at all. After all, I didn’t have enough to even miss–that’s what I thought. Boy, was I wrong. I was so upset when my hair left. Not because I was bald, but because of other things. For instance, up to that point, if I didn’t choose to tell you that I had cancer, you wouldn’t know. Now, all of a sudden, everyone knew without me saying a word. I noticed all of the stares of pity and how everyone ran over to help me get a single can off a shelf in the grocery store or wanted to carry my bag to the car. And another thing–I knew that I would lose my hair, but never thought about losing my lashes and eyebrows. Losing those make you look old and sickly. Nevermind that I was old and sickly–I didn’t want to LOOK like it. I’ll never forget the day that I completely broke down on the phone with my dad, trying to explain why I was embarassed to go someplace because I didn’t have lashes and brows. Bottom line: I didn’t feel beautiful.
Never again. Now, I define my OWN beauty standards. With much self examination, reflection, and support from friends and family, I finally pushed through and got past it. So much so that when I walked the runway in a fashion show with other cancer survivors in March, I purposely asked my makeup artist to leave me browless, though he did give me lashes. Here’s how I looked that day.
So, I’ve realized that while I’m not my hair, my hair truly is me. Granted, it’s not a big part of me, but I’ve learned to embrace ALL of me. I love me some me!
Disclosure: I am a Niche Parent Network & Conference influencer and received compensation for this post. All opinions are my own.