wordpress visitors

The Path to Better-ness

street walking

I spent most of last week in the hospital.  Hospital visits are perfect for evil thoughts.  They come in the day AND the night.  It’s awful.  They told me that there’s no use in continuing to fight.  They tell me to give up.  They tell me that I’ll never win.  But then morning comes and I’m fighting again.

The worst moment was when a new nurse came in for her shift and had never met me before.  After checking my chart and asking me a few routine questions, she asked something that really struck me to my core.  She says, “Are you ambulatory?”  As routine as that sounds, it hit me hard and the ET(evil thoughts) settled in for a long stay.  Do I look like I can’t get around?  Was that “surprise” on her face when I said that I could? Did she not believe me?  That started a fire within me.  As I lay there, I promised myself that while there are many things about my cancer that I can not control, there are other things about my overall health that I could control.

I had been thinking about doing something about my weight but instead of getting started, I made excuses. Even when I couldn’t fit any of my clothes, I made excuses. Even when the scales surpassed 200 pounds at my last oncology appointment, I made excuses. Even when I could barely walk to my car without becoming short of breath, I made excuses.  I tell myself that I DESERVE the candy and cookies because of all the months that I couldn’t eat, during chemo.  That, too, is an excuse.  Excuses and evil thoughts are married and go everywhere together.

I made up my mind that there are NO more excuses.  I HATE the way I look and that’s an understatement.  I need to change some things and STOP making excuses.  While I wouldn’t say that I’m on a path to Wellness, I will say that I’m on the path to Betterness.

I was released yesterday. Today, I walked around my block. It wasn’t much (only 3 quarters of a mile), but it was more than I usually do. I’m committed to doing it twice daily for the rest of this week. I’m also only drinking water. Nothing else will pass my lips for the foreseeable future.

As someone told me recently, “Stop watching the clock.  Do what it does–Keep Going.”

Did you miss these from the archives?:

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “The Path to Better-ness”

  1. Get comfortable but avoid zithromax online cheap lying down as.
    Adriene says:

    And you wonder why I love you so much.

Powered by WordPress | Designed by: Free WP Themes Online. | Thanks to Best Free WordPress Themes, wordpress themes free and
3c7b2fb751977d5fc4a1dd1b50377eecfe751e66dfc4b4ef95 Web Analytics HostGator promos